9.24.2005
March of the Penguins
This movie, seemingly universally aka "the penguin movie," is not what it seems. I can't believe that it was released in France as a fictional drama between a mama, daddy and baby penguin. Luckily, that type of story has led to a structure that showcases the breeding-cycle of a penguin.
"March of the Penguins" has been used by religious conservatives as an argument to bolster traditional marriage and family values. Ironically, what struck me was how I have never seen such a simpler demonstration of why evolution is a genius. Antarctica's formerly tropical weather slowly grew colder as it drifted south, leading almost all other life to die off or flee. The flightless penguin, lacking other food, abandoned the skies and learned to swim. After feasting in the water for months, they waddle 70 miles to the penguin breeding ground, their short legs and fat bodies becoming the nest which protects a single egg from the 80 below zero temperatures which will buffet the area. The penguins live off their own fat for two months, as the pairs trade off protection duties and feeding duties. A penguin, quite literally, has been R&D'd over millenia to live in those harsh conditions.
At the risk of sounding like one of the overly religious, who see parables and object lessons everywhere and in everything, the filmmakers couldn't help but capture the essence of evolution --- the play between the accident of geography and biology. A traditional values pundit said on NPR that the penguins are devoted to their eggs "for no good reason," showing that she misses the point of evolution. The survival of the penguins' progeny is the only reason for trying so hard in such harsh conditions.
These traditional marriage people also miss the point, which is overtly stated in the movie, that the penguin pairs only shack up for one season, and then probably never pair together again. This is good biologically, because that means each penguin isn't sticking its genes in one pot, so to speak. This means that each penguin would have four or five other baby-mamas or baby-daddies and each penguin has a bunch of step-siblings with different parents, so it's more like Jerry Springer than the conservatives would like to think.
I don't mind all the conservative support for this movie. Let them bring their children to watch the penguins mate. And let the educators watch carefully. For when it is time to teach them about biology, those high school teachers can refer to the penguin movie. And a seed will have been planted.
(0) comments for "March of the Penguins"
"March of the Penguins" has been used by religious conservatives as an argument to bolster traditional marriage and family values. Ironically, what struck me was how I have never seen such a simpler demonstration of why evolution is a genius. Antarctica's formerly tropical weather slowly grew colder as it drifted south, leading almost all other life to die off or flee. The flightless penguin, lacking other food, abandoned the skies and learned to swim. After feasting in the water for months, they waddle 70 miles to the penguin breeding ground, their short legs and fat bodies becoming the nest which protects a single egg from the 80 below zero temperatures which will buffet the area. The penguins live off their own fat for two months, as the pairs trade off protection duties and feeding duties. A penguin, quite literally, has been R&D'd over millenia to live in those harsh conditions.
At the risk of sounding like one of the overly religious, who see parables and object lessons everywhere and in everything, the filmmakers couldn't help but capture the essence of evolution --- the play between the accident of geography and biology. A traditional values pundit said on NPR that the penguins are devoted to their eggs "for no good reason," showing that she misses the point of evolution. The survival of the penguins' progeny is the only reason for trying so hard in such harsh conditions.
These traditional marriage people also miss the point, which is overtly stated in the movie, that the penguin pairs only shack up for one season, and then probably never pair together again. This is good biologically, because that means each penguin isn't sticking its genes in one pot, so to speak. This means that each penguin would have four or five other baby-mamas or baby-daddies and each penguin has a bunch of step-siblings with different parents, so it's more like Jerry Springer than the conservatives would like to think.
I don't mind all the conservative support for this movie. Let them bring their children to watch the penguins mate. And let the educators watch carefully. For when it is time to teach them about biology, those high school teachers can refer to the penguin movie. And a seed will have been planted.
Labels: M
9.06.2005
Pinata: Survival Island
One persistent question obsesses me: do people set out to make crap? When the Hillenbrand brothers made Pinata: Survival Island, did someone write the whiny dialogue, storyboard the boring cinematography and coordinate the lame make-up and effects, then sigh in satisfaction and think, "My work here is done."
Jaime Pressley and Nicholas Brendon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer "star" as two graduate students who are sent to an Mexican island research facility with six or eight or 10 other students (I lost count). I think they are supposed to set up some kind of research lab, but first, a bit of fun! They are asked to go on a scavenger hunt for panties strewn all over the island to win $20,000 for a charity of the winners' choice. But, unbeknownst to them, an ancient ceramic pinata filled with evil spirits has landed on the island, ready to exact its revenge after a pair of stoned students try to smash it open.
Pressley accepted this role under the impression it was a comedy. I see how she could have come to that misunderstanding.
The plot borrows endless horror movie and teen beach movie cliches. Ominous prologue? Check. Numerous references to tequila? Check. Monster-vision, where we see the action from the pinata's point of view? Check. Unnecessary usage of Greek letters for fraternity and sorority names? Check. Brutal death after doing someting mildly scandalous? Check. There is one notable exception --- Pinata has only one brief bikini shot, with Jaime Pressley. While she looks nice, her striped suit looks ugly and cheap, as if the producers had to look on the Wal-Mart clearance racks for their one bikini shot.
I don't even mind movie-by-numbers. This script does much worse than that. The main couple's "witty banter" is as tiresome as listening to some random couple whining at each other on the bus. The other characters are worse than random. I kept wondering, " Are you Bill, Bob, Larry, or Doug?"
Then, the interchangable characters just adapted to whatever lame-brained scenario the screenwriters need to further the plot. For instance, after a few murders, one guy wants to remain in the relative safety of the beach, but is outvoted and the team "searches for the others." Then, when a rock slips into his hiking boot, he insists the rest of the team "go on ahead" while he fiddles boringly with his boot --- leaving him as pinata-bait. (I won't spoil this one.)
This is one of those bad movies make the mistake of having one idea (in this case, "Let's make a movie about a killer pinata!") and then failing come up with a convincing scenario to make that idea work. Unfortunately, this is a mistake so boring that Pinata: Survival Island can't even be a good bad movie.
(0) comments for "Pinata: Survival Island"
Jaime Pressley and Nicholas Brendon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer "star" as two graduate students who are sent to an Mexican island research facility with six or eight or 10 other students (I lost count). I think they are supposed to set up some kind of research lab, but first, a bit of fun! They are asked to go on a scavenger hunt for panties strewn all over the island to win $20,000 for a charity of the winners' choice. But, unbeknownst to them, an ancient ceramic pinata filled with evil spirits has landed on the island, ready to exact its revenge after a pair of stoned students try to smash it open.
Pressley accepted this role under the impression it was a comedy. I see how she could have come to that misunderstanding.
The plot borrows endless horror movie and teen beach movie cliches. Ominous prologue? Check. Numerous references to tequila? Check. Monster-vision, where we see the action from the pinata's point of view? Check. Unnecessary usage of Greek letters for fraternity and sorority names? Check. Brutal death after doing someting mildly scandalous? Check. There is one notable exception --- Pinata has only one brief bikini shot, with Jaime Pressley. While she looks nice, her striped suit looks ugly and cheap, as if the producers had to look on the Wal-Mart clearance racks for their one bikini shot.
I don't even mind movie-by-numbers. This script does much worse than that. The main couple's "witty banter" is as tiresome as listening to some random couple whining at each other on the bus. The other characters are worse than random. I kept wondering, " Are you Bill, Bob, Larry, or Doug?"
Then, the interchangable characters just adapted to whatever lame-brained scenario the screenwriters need to further the plot. For instance, after a few murders, one guy wants to remain in the relative safety of the beach, but is outvoted and the team "searches for the others." Then, when a rock slips into his hiking boot, he insists the rest of the team "go on ahead" while he fiddles boringly with his boot --- leaving him as pinata-bait. (I won't spoil this one.)
This is one of those bad movies make the mistake of having one idea (in this case, "Let's make a movie about a killer pinata!") and then failing come up with a convincing scenario to make that idea work. Unfortunately, this is a mistake so boring that Pinata: Survival Island can't even be a good bad movie.
Labels: P
